I have only been a mom for 17 months, but I feel like this is what I have been preparing for my whole life. This is the best job in the entire world. I always knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom. When Daniel and I first started dating we had numerous conversations about how our life would be when we had children. We both shared the same dream to have me stay at home with our kiddos. I worked for three years and we saved so that our dream would be a reality. I am beyond thankful that Daniel shared this dream with me and that he works so hard so that I am able to stay at home. I have an incredible husband!
I longed for the day where I would be able to have my own baby and spend all day long with him/her. I thought each day would be filled with hugs, kisses, smiles, and magical moments. Well, for the most part, it truly is. There are days that are filled with tears (not just from Hudson!), screams, tantrums, and just full out battles of the will. The hard days just make the good one even better, so I am not complaining!
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| One of the first fits he threw. This should have clued me in to his temperament! |
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| This fit was over wanting more medicine! |
I know in today's time being a stay at home mom isn't very glamorous. Some women might look at me like I am giving up my own dreams to just stay at home and wipe snotty noses, change yucky diapers, and completely "let myself go." Others might think that I am so lucky because I just get to sit around all day doing nothing and napping. Well, I am lucky, but I can assure you I don't sit around and twiddle my thumbs all day. I have never worked so hard at any other job in my life!
I feel like I have a huge responsibility to raise my son to love the Lord with all of his heart. I do not take that lightly. Some days it is so overwhelming to think about the impact I have on my child. I am the first picture of unconditional love, patience, kindness, compassion, grace, etc, that my son will see. I sure do not want him to get the wrong picture. I am the first example that he should see of how to love the Lord. It is my responsibility to protect him from the evils of this world. It is my responsibility to discipline him and teach him right from wrong. It is my responsibility to show him grace when he does something wrong so that one day he understands the ultimate act of grace and love. These are just a few of my responsibilities. I am always thankful that God chose me to carry out these responsibilities. I will forever try to be worthy of this calling. I in no way am capable of doing these things without his help. Some days I just fail miserably. Thankfully, Hudson has that unconditional love thing down. He still loves his momma even when I wasn't so patient or kind that day. With all of these responsibilities that I have as a parent, I don't want to waste that time not being home with my child. Please know, I do NOT think it is wrong if you are not a stay at home mom. Some women can't, some women do not want to, and that is their choice. Staying at home with my son was a decision that Daniel and I made together for what seemed best for OUR family. I in no way think that our decision is the only decision. Just wanted to clear that up!
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| Little cutie spaghetti face! |
Being a mom has changed my whole life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Hudson is the best blessing. I truly try to cherish each day. These last 17 months have seemed to fly by. I wish I could figure out a way to slow time! Even though there are days that I wish Hudson were potty trained (like the days that changing his diaper results in a HUGE meltdown with kicking and screaming), I also know that being potty trained means he is older and needs me less, so I don't really mind the meltdowns. These days are so few that I have him at home with me, I just want to make the most of them and remember every single second. I hope Hudson and I can look back at our times together and think these are some of the best memories we have.
